Yes, I will do the 'math', thank you very much.
Don't misunderstand me, I'm a die hard advocate of spontaneity, it's just that unstructured spontaneity is overrated and generally belongs to dreamers who watch too many films. I think having no plan at all is self defeating in that the anticipated surprise so often becomes the missed opportunity. Give me a 90% chance of having the fun you organised over a 10% chancing to have even more any day of the week. It's a percentage game and I like Maths. On that basis, I planned my next 3 days and proceeded.
After an early night in, I leapt out of bed like the 29th of February. The sun was out, my 8am train was booked and my bags were packed. I still love the rush I get from being on the move and today was no different. The station was emptier than Paris Hilton's library so maneuvering around was as easy as, well, Paris Hilton . The difference in price between a First and Second class ticket wasn't much at all but that wasn't the point; what matters for this trip is the interactions I have and where more entertainment might lie. I decided not to think too long about this, bought a First Class ticket and immediately went for some breakfast.
Suspicion arose as to the source of his inspiration as Erik comes back from NYC with a spring in his step with an idea for a 'brand new' frozen yoghurt chain.
I bought a coffee and a wrap and as we pulled out of the station it became clear that the only other person in my compartment (there were 6 seats to a compartment) was a balding business man in his fifties. He was on his phone a lot and it was therefore with some caution that I gestured to him if it was alright for me to eat my wrap in front of him (it was heated and so a touch on the pungent side). He looked quizzically back at me so I went into more detail. 'Mind if eat tzatsiki wrap?' was what unexpectedly marched out of my mouth, oddly sounding rather Polish with a hint of Japanese given the high s/w/z content. It really might have been Polish in fact as he picked up his bag, apologised, walked out on his phone and didn't come back until the last 2 minutes of the journey to pick up his jacket. I will never find out what he thought I said but should you need some peace and quiet in Poland, arm yourself with a tzatsiki wrap and apologise for it with confidence. It's like Kryptonite to a business men out there.
I arrived in Krakow and having read up a little about the town on my way knew that my starting point, as with most cities to be honest, had to be the Old Town. Krakow used to be the capital of Poland, but come 1945 it was damn lucky not to have kept such a title, as not being the capital saved it from destruction which sadly fell, as you know, to my last host city, Warsaw. Given this, the city is still fairly in tact and it's charm is contagious. The Old Town is surrounded by a belt of Edenesque gardens and inside it's all cobbled streets and taverns like you've walked into the Hollywood film set of Asterix and Obelix which turned out to prove truer than I thought as the guy who gave me directions had breath to fell a thousand Romans and almost certainly was Unhygenix.
Rob and Margot
The first thing I noticed on entering 'Milk Bar', was that it had a communal table in the middle, something I'm actually quite a fan of. Of course you can be really unlucky and get a nauseating narcissist (no comments please), but on the off chance that James Franco doesn't sit down next to you, you can often have great conversations with people - but you have the choice (bring earphones for back up). I decided to go for the aforementioned table as I spied a rather affable looking couple just sitting down. In true Jamie style, I apologetically struck up conversation without really being sorry at all. I wanted to know their business. Rob and Margot met a few years back at Philosophy post grad school and were travelling through Europe for 11 days before they head home. Margot (whose birthday it was) lives in Belgium but is moving to England to be with Rob. Rob was studying specifically the Ethics of Asbergers which is a strain of autism where the sufferers display difficulty in social interaction but intense fascination with often mathematical subjects. We ended up talking about psychopaths and I mentioned that I had just read the brilliant book by Jon Ronson 'The Psycopath Test'. Rob mentioned that not only had he read it and taken the test, but he'd delved quite deeply into the behavioral patterns of psychopaths including what newspapers they most likely read. Have you guessed it? It didn't surprise me either. It is, of course, the Wall Street Journal.
I know I've mildly criticised spontaneity today but if there's something I just can't quite stomach, it's a tour, and these two beliefs can happily coexist, as they absolutely coexist in me. As such, I proceeded on Jamie's own tour and I spent the next few hours taking in the Old town and Jewish Quarter - Maciej, a guy I met there, told me that the number of Jews in Krakow now is only 200 having been 60,000 in 1939, 6000 in 1945 dwindling down to sub 1000 in the 70's to where we are today.
Feeling like I should attempt something on the healthier side, I decided to eat at 'Green Cafe' near the train station where they advertised 'healthy pizzas'. Ok Green Cafe, congratulations, you have my attention, proceed. The waiter completely misunderstood my question about what bread they use as he rushed off and came back with a panicked look and a Blackberry charger. I pointed at one of the pizzas and we all moved on with our lives. I thought for a second I had ordered a frisbee with cheese as the only thing this disc shaped air foil was seemingly good for was to distract the attention of your assailants should be unlucky enough to be under attack from a warrior army of flying mice. As I walked off I sang to myself, "Sweet dreams are made of cheeeeese, who am I to diss a Brie....."
My overnight train was on time and I jumped aboard excited to get back on tracks. Frustratingly I had to change at 10:49pm at Kitowice but then I was in a 2 man compartment for the overnight leg to Prague. The price options available to me this time were more varied but faced with the choice of a 1 bed first class compartment, a 2 bed second class and a 6 bed standard class, the decision was tougher. For the sake of authenticity and comedy in this journal, clearly standard was the only option but I would be useless all day in Prague without any sleep so perhaps I go Savoy class for a few extra shekels. I settled on second class and prayed to the train Gods that my companion was not going to be the 'over-50's reigning Rajastan snoring champion' I once had to share with on a fateful overnighter from Udaipur to Dehli. As it happened, I got the perfect room mate, no one at all. With a large grin on my face I built a nest in the more than adequate compartment and bunked down for the night.
If Day 1 had been a 9 and Day 2 a 6, then today had fallen satisfyingly and symmetrically right down the middle. Monday 25th August had been a totally acceptable 7.5. I told you I liked Maths.